It helps to Laugh at our Age
Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at £ 7000 per month.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
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I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'
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Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.
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Apparently two cups of coffee a day are good for preventing Alzheimer's disease. My problem is I forget to drink the second cup.
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I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face.
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One day you look in the mirror and realise the face you are shaving is your father's.
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Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked. She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
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I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes,
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia ..
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 89 or 98.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.
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